BIOGRAPHY

Since my birth in 1977, I have been producing media projects in various ways, shapes and forms. This began with the foundation of a primary-school magazine publishing house that brought a plethora of titles to the playground, including Computer Gen, a video games fanzine , 2000BC, a prehistoric knock-off of the popular sci-fi comic and Zoom Comics, a badly-drawn throwback to the Golden Age of American superheroes.

My teenage years were mostly spent messing around with computers, firstly the Amstrad CPC 464, and latterly the Commodore Amiga. Experimenting with software such as Deluxe Paint, Sculpt 4D and Moviesetter led to my first forays into moving images - a series of abstract animations that were largely unwatchable. Still, these early forays into film-making allowed me to gain work experience at CU Amiga magazine, which resulted in my first ever non-self-published work: two reviews in the budget games section. This led me to the dubious ambition of becoming a professional writer.

I attended the University of Manchester between 1996-2000 and spent most of my time smoking cigarettes, worrying about overdrafts and writing a novel which would make me rich and famous (and therefore not having to worry about my mediocre BA in Politics and Modern History). The book took three years to write and by the end of it I hated every single word. Let us never speak of it again.

On returning to London, I was contacted by an old friend from my A-Level Media Studies course, who said he was forming a film production company and would like me to be involved. This group of five young men would eventually become Up at the Big House, and would achieve notoriety for their dedication to the low-budget lifestyle, their innovative approach to film-making and their inability to pay the rent.

As a writer and director, I made more than twenty short films with Up at the Big House, specialising in puppetry and animation. Since parting company with the group in 2004, I have written a novel ("BWAH-HAH-HA!!! Diary of an Evil Genius"), a feature film script ("Wings of Doom"), several articles, essays and stories and a half-hour sitcom script ("Living With Mummo"). In addition, I oversaw production of the commercial DVD release of my comedy mockumentary "Who is DJ Rubbish?" and produced the supplementary bonus features found on the disc.

I have a wide range skills, ranging from excellent copywriting to superlative tea-making. I am proficient in many areas of media creation and am skilled in the use of Photoshop, Illustrator, InDesign, Dreamweaver, Premiere Pro, Cinema 4D and Encore. Equally suited to working alone or as part of a team, I'm so good at what I do that it makes me sick (no joke - I'm currently receiving Incapacity Benefit for suffering the burden of my own genius) and should be earning poo-loads of money as a lawyer or something, instead of being a raggedy-arsed "creative" type.

But I'm not bitter.